Nov 3, 2014

Nikos Deja Vu - Nasty friend

Nasty friend

Before taking a decision whether to be friends with the girl you have stopped getting on, or not, analyse what type she belongs to.

  1. A commander
    The girl of this type orders you about, dictates what to do and what not to do. In this case don’t be afraid to speak your mind. If she takes your arguments with understanding continue being friends. If not – part at once. Don’t transform your life into hell.

  2. A nuisance (a bore)
    She is sure to present any situation in a threatening dull way and devoid your life of any brightness and happiness. This will tell upon your nerves. But it’s useless to prove the opposite to a bore. First – say “ stop” to her.

  3. An owner
    She wants you to be near her all the time. She doesn’t care for the things that you are busy with and the things that interests you. She wouldn’t stand any other friends of yours but her. In short you are just her slave. Try to talk things over with her, if she presents not to understand what you are speaking about then decide for yourself.

  4. A truth lover
    She sees the point of friendship in being honest and would stop at nothing in her criticism. Though sometimes her advice is worth listening to, still the manner of doing it may hurt you. Tell her straight out what you think about her.

  5. A failure
    It’s common for people to make friends at school, at the institute, at club, etc. When they are of the same social status. Later, your status might change and you may occupy higher position then your friend does. For some time, through the force of habit you continue being friends, but can’t help realizing that the point of friendship has changed. Think it over.

Five more problematic friends:

  1. A fatal woman (femme fatal)
    A classical variant: she will start flirting with you boyfriend even if she doesn’t mean it.

  2. A lively example
    She will keep telling you that she has experienced a similar situation in her life, but behaved herself in a more clever, courageous, resourceful way.

  3. A daring one
    She will try to involve you in all her fantastic projects and will take offence at your refusal.

  4. An aggrieved one
    She keeps complaining that she is devoid of so many things in her life - good appearance, parents, money, position in life, some traits of character and so on. You are supposed just to listen to it and feel guilty.

  5. A queen
    Suddenly she decides that she is no ordinary person, a royal one and you are supposed to be her retinue.

And now let’s come up to the main question:
To fight for a problematic friend or not?

The problem : Some friendship is worth fighting for, another one is not.
What to do?

  1. I f some changes in your private or business life confuse your friend, because she is afraid it might alienate you from her. Remember: all that unites you and try to improve the situation.

  2. Your friend seems not to need your advice, she doesn’t want to load you down with her problems. Ask her to do you a favor then perhaps she will turn to you for some advice or help.

  3. Your friend who goes through some misfortunes in her life is very pleased if you are in the same position. Organize a sort of competition “ Who is the most unhappy” and put down your and her misfortunes. Trying to find the way out of somebody else’s problem is very helpful.

  4. Your friend doesn’t leave you in peace even for a moment, which is quite unusual for her. Invite her to your place at night, explain it by the feeling of extreme loneliness and inquire if she has never felt the same.

Nikos Deja Vu

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