Aug 9, 2012

Nikos Deja Vu - Myth Busted - Women do cheat!

Myth Busted - Women do cheat!

There is a great myth being circulated out there that women don’t cheat, women are faithful, women are loyal. Women stay home and tend the hearth.

This is, of course, a lie.

Think about it – in this day and age, women have the same rights as men. Men and women are almost equal in terms of economic, social, political and domestic power in the western world.

A few decades ago, women did not have the opportunity to cheat even if they wanted to.

We did not have the luxury of being able to work and play outside of the home. Now we can. And the balance of power has shifted in more ways than one.

A report/book about female midlife crisis, writes that a 30000 person study from the National Opinion Centre in 2007 shows that the overall rate for female infidelity is rising and fast approaching that of men, with ‘one in six married women saying they have had affairs’.

Of course, cheating wives and girlfriends are nothing new. If we are logically thinking about this, men who cheat have got to be doing it with someone.

Who do you suppose they’re having the affair with? There’s only a finite pool of single women and most of them don’t like tangling with men who are taken – there’s too much of risk.

Women who are already in relationships are a different story. It’s easier to have a fling when you know you’ve got a fall-back plan if things turn ugly.

There are, of course, different levels of cheating. How seriously you identify with which often depends on beliefs, upbringing and social conditioning.

There are couples who have open relationships who are quite happy with their situation. But here is where honesty comes into it.

Open relationships are based on knowledge, infidelity is based on lies and deceit. The two basic forms of infidelity are: emotional and physical.

Both genders are just as susceptible to both, although it has been thought in the past that women tend towards emotional cheating and men towards physical.

However, female sexuality is now seen as a natural and healthy form of expression and women are just as likely to try and find sexual fulfilment outside of the relationship if they feel dissatisfied.

Emotional cheating ranges from knowingly dating someone else behind your man’s back, to getting into a situation where you are so emotionally close to someone that you fall in love with them.

Emotional cheating is seen as less calculated than physical, but are just as deliberate in the sense that you often have to let yourself before you can fall for someone else.

Physical cheating means just that – kissing, sexual petting (with or without clothes), oral sex, full-blown sex, etc.

Most people in relationships define early on what they would construe as cheating, with some including dirty dancing with someone else, and others who see kissing another person as not.

 Again, it goes back to individual taste.

What is the best solution for a female cheat on the verge of getting caught? Experts are divided on this.

Some advocate the tell-all approach on the basis that you cannot have an honest, healthy relationship based on a lie.

Subduing your conscience can destroy your relationship anyway because it will make you act differently and build walls between you and your partner.

On the other hand, it is known that males are more likely to end a relationship when they discover infidelity.

In other words, if you truly want to save your relationship and are absolutely, 100% certain that this will never happen again, then sometimes it is best not to tell.

Telling salves no-one’s conscience but your own and if your man is not the forgiving type, then you can kiss him goodbye forever.

Of course, in both situations, it requires some soul searching on the part of the guilty woman. Infidelity is a painful experience, especially for the person being cheated on.

Finding out the root of the unfaithfulness is a good start, and this often stems from being unhappy with some part of our life, but not knowing where.

Nikos Deja Vu

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