Aug 11, 2012

Nikos Deja Vu - The 5 Most Incompatible Relationship Types

The 5 Most Incompatible
Relationship Types

More often than not, relationships don't always work out and when they don't, we try to categorize them into relationship types that are incompatible. My problems with these incompatibility thoughts are the fact that they, unlike the relationships themselves, work in sweeping generalities. Among relationship types, the following 5 are what are considered the most incompatible:

  1. Missionary Relationships
  2. Sacrificial Relationships
  3. Exotic Relationships
  4. Unequally Aged Relationships
  5. Rebellious Relationships

So what defines these relationship types? Here is a little bit about these 5 most incompatible relationship types so you can understand the generalities they are talking about.

1. Missionary relationships

Missionary relationships are defined as one person trying to convert their partner to a better way of life or to a new faith. The idea of this relationship is ludicrous on the surface because if two people are building a relationship based on hidden agendas or because they just want to save the other because they don't really care for them the way they are - of course the relationship is doomed. The relationship itself is not based on reality. Now, a relationship where one partner has greater faith than the other, those happen all the time. A relationship where one partner encourages the other partner's faith and prays for them, shares with them and in some way demonstrates their faith by living it - that's not a missionary relationship, that's a relationship based on love and faith.

2. Sacrificial relationships

Sacrificial relationships are defined as relationships where one partner is always out to save the other physically or emotionally, but not necessarily spiritually. In fact, it's equated to being more like the nurse falling in love with a patient or a doctor falling in love with a patient. Their relationship revolves around the one's need to treat and cure the other from whatever it is that ails them. It's more about one partner needing to be needed than it is about a balance and equality between the two. While it's true, in most relationships, there will come a time when one partner or the other has to care for the other partner - it should not be the sole basis for the relationship.

3. Exotic relationships

The exotic relationship is one considered to be based on a fascination with exactly how different another person is racially, culturally or ethnically. There is a certain allure of being involved with someone who is so radically different. Honestly, I dislike this title of a relationship more than any other for one very firm reason - different doesn't mean bad - it means different. When people of different cultures, faiths and even geography meet, fall in love and marry -- they will have challenges, but that doesn't mean they are impossible relationships.

4. Unequally Aged Relationships

Unequally aged relationships are exactly what they sound like. We call them May-December romances and like just about every other kind of relationship - they may or may not work - sure. But just because two people of different generations find kinship with each other should not make them immediately suspect or wrong. Still, it's good to be aware of the perceptions with regard to the age differences.

5. Rebellious Relationships

The last one is the rebellious relationship and this is one that soaps and other adventure movies make their bread and butter on. It's the love affair with James Dean. It's the romantic anti-hero. It's the girl from the wrong side of the tracks with the good heart. It's all those romantic ideals rolled up into a pretty attractive package. The only one who can make the determination about the compatibility of this relationship though are the people involved - if there is genuine emotion and it's not a fad or a phase - they can make it work. If it's just a desire to walk on the wild side, then like most anything begun on an impulse - it will also fade in time.

Relationships are Strange Creatures

Make no mistake about it, relationships are strange creatures. They are entities unto themselves. We can qualify them. We can quantify them. We can wrap them up into neat little packages and attach a label. There will always be exceptions. But then - that's the psychology of people - exceptions to every rule.

Nikos Deja Vu

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