Jul 7, 2009

Nikos Deja Vu - Love addiction

Love addiction

The Ancient Greeks already described “mania” as one of the forms of love. It’s an obsessive, ecstatic and long-lasting love. It usually exaggerates the meaning and the importance of the feeling. Very often it leads to strong emotional shocks and dramas. It seeks for the total possession and control over partner, although it can be heroic and self-sacrificing. “Mania” stays very strong even when it has no reciprocity, it can be blindly faithful. Nowadays this form of love exists but in has become less dramatic.

Love addiction is when we say I love him/her too much, I can’t let him/her go, it’ when we are ready to suffer, see our love being abused but still ready to forgive everything because of a terrible fear to loose the one we love.

Some people get adducted to love as the other get addicted to drugs or alcohol. It’s when their partner becomes the centre and the meaning of their whole life, when his or life becomes their life and everything they turn to do is to satisfy their partner’s need and to solve his/her problem. Work, friends, hobbies, personal interests – nothing of that matter for a love addicted person more. And in the basics of it all lays not the love but the fear that can take it’s roots in early childhood when a future love addict didn’t get enough love and attention and now he/she’s trying to fill that space being very scared to return to that loneliness of a child.

In this “mania” relationships there’s very often nothing left to call love, these relationships don’t bring comfort, pleasure and support as they’re supposed to do, but only pain and sufferings. And love addicts may even realise it but the don’t have strength to leave. An addicted to love person is ready to do almost everything if it can be necessary or useful to his/her partner. There is nothing too expensive, unpleasant or taking too much time if it make him/her happy.

These love addicts can be very nervous and depressive, also they are willing to gain total control over the partner. The reason is that they aren’t enough self-confidence and those possessive relationship can be an attempt to prove they are worth something.

Most of all love addicts are scared that the relationship will be ruined because it seems that won’t be able to live without their partner so they are ready to bear selfishness, indifference, cruelty, disgrace. More other those possessed with love try to convince themselves that all this “minuses” are temporary and that their partner is just having hard time at the moment, but after it’s over he/she will se everything that has been done for them and will turn to be very thankful.
Love addicts also may think thanks to their childhood that such sick relations with an indifferent partner is the only they are worth. They may ignore all the good people around them that are willing to give their love and attention.

By the way it’s women who suffer from love addiction more than men. Addictive men usually become obsessed with their job or hobby. The worst variant is drugs and alcohol. And the addictive women usually choose such men as a cross to berry.

The only way to get rid of such a love addiction is to fight all the fears and to quit that obsessive and destructive relationships, to prove yourself that you’re worth much more. Relationships are never supposed to be a one-way street, love is giving but normally it gets much in return. The problem is that the love addiction can be a very serious problem repeating from one relationships to the other so that a person isn’t even able to solve it without professional help.

Nikos Deja Vu

Video: Nikos Deja Vu - Robert Palmer - Addicted To Love

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